Depression Reality – A Poem (Mental Health Awareness Week)

For those who don’t know, this is Mental Health Awareness Week, at least in the USA. I know many people who suffer from mental health issues, and my last post was on the topic as well. There should be an update post coming from me soon. I know most of you are here for anime and such, not this stuff, but well, this topic is why I hadn’t been watching or writing much about anime in the past couple of years, even though I wanted to. As always, if you find the need to talk to someone, I’m here to talk, on Twitter, via email, Discord, etc.

Hopefully this poem will be pleasing artistically, and will help people feel less alone, more understood, or will give those on the outside a glimpse in. The preamble to the poem is part of the poetic effort in this instance.

The Death of Socrates - Jacques-Louis David 1787.jpg

 

Some people like bringing up rules to be adhered to when discussing poetry. Rules such as, “no abstractions,” yet what do you think metaphors and similes are? What do you think are words?
What sort of poetry can you write, when you let the rules use you rather than using them, and knowing when to abandon them? And if you cannot do anything but parrot said rules, shouldn’t you just point at the rules, rather than call yourself a poetry critic?

Hark! For this poem that follows contains no abstractions. Nothing but concrete reality here.

What do you do when you give up on life,
give in to demands you cannot meet,
when you give out, and giving sure is a hopeful word,
but what is left when all has been given?
What do you do when any attempt to call in anyone,
can do nought else but call up the ghosts of failures past,
and there’s no one left to call out,
but yourself?
What can you do when any attempt to pull out
of it all only pulls you back in, and there are no hands
to pull you up, no shoulders to rely on?
They are looking in on you,
concern on their faces,
and assurances that things will look up,
so why are you looking so down, again.
What do you do then, when you cannot look out.
They beat you down with niceties,
until you are beaten up,
lips looking a healthy shade of red.
And these dark feelings set in, then move in,
and they set you up, and you cannot move out.
There’s no room to move up,
no place to set down the burden.
You try to break out of the cell,
to break up the clot in your throat,
to break it down into small chunks, that will make sense,
to those that did not have pieces of themselves broken off.

What do you do when you throw up this run-on sentence, this run-on life?
When you cannot help but throw down on a page these husks,
now empty of meaning, that have been run out of life?
When you try to throw in the towel, only to run into the wall?
What do you do when there’s nowhere to run, run, run, run, run
run, run, run, run, run away?

What do you do,
when you run out of energy,
out of time;
when you close out the book,
and put down the pen,
when you’ve been in the same spot for so long,
and you have been at it so many times.

What do you do,
when you run out of words,
but not out of pain.

One comment on “Depression Reality – A Poem (Mental Health Awareness Week)

  1. I don’t usually comment on posts over the Internet, but I just wanted to say (again) that I used to read your blog for your Oregairu analysis. Reading this poem makes me think how much of a truly sensible, genuine and intelligent person you are. I hope that you find your inner peace, and please, continue fighting for it. I am also fighting for the same cause as you. Cheers.

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